Forgiveness can be a tricky topic, especially for girls navigating friendships, conflicts, and emotional ups and downs. Many of us were raised with the idea that forgiveness means forgetting or letting someone back into our lives, but true forgiveness is about finding peace—without sacrificing our boundaries.

After talking about apologies last week, I wanted to dive deeper into the other side of the equation—what forgiveness really means and how to help your daughter understand it in a way that empowers her.

1. Forgiveness Isn’t About the Other Person—It’s About Your Peace
Many girls think that forgiveness means pretending the hurt didn’t happen or giving someone another chance, even when they don’t deserve it. But true forgiveness is about releasing the anger that keeps you stuck, so you can move forward with peace.

🔹 What you can say to your daughter:
"Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior. It means letting go of the pain so it doesn’t have power over you anymore."

🔹 Try this:
Ask, "What do you think forgiveness means? Has your view of it changed?"
Together, write a new definition of forgiveness that feels right to her.

2. Forgiving Doesn’t Mean Forgetting or Rebuilding a Relationship
One of the biggest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it always leads to reconciliation. But some people don’t change, and some relationships are healthier from a distance.

🔹 What you can say to your daughter:
"You can forgive someone while still keeping your distance. Protecting yourself doesn’t make you mean—it makes you strong."

🔹 Try this:
Ask, "How do you decide if a friendship is worth fixing? "How can you tell if someone's apology is genuine? What signs might show they don't really mean it?"

3. An Apology Isn’t Enough—Actions Matter More Than Words
Sometimes, someone apologizes, but it still doesn’t feel right. That’s because true forgiveness isn’t just about words—it’s about changed behavior.

🔹 What you can say to your daughter:
"A real apology isn’t just ‘I’m sorry’—it’s followed by actions that show they mean it."

🔹 Try this:
Ask, "Has anyone ever apologized to you, but it didn’t feel real? Why do you think that was?"
Talk about how trust is rebuilt through actions, not just words.

4. Forgiveness Takes Time (And That’s Okay)
Your daughter may feel pressure to forgive quickly, but healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s okay to take the time she needs to move forward at her own pace.

🔹 What you can say to your daughter:
"You don’t have to rush forgiveness. Take the time you need to process your feelings and decide what’s best for you."

🔹 Try this:
Ask, "What do you think you need in order to move forward—time, space, an apology, or proof of change?"

5. The Hardest Person to Forgive Is Often Ourselves
Self-forgiveness is just as important as forgiving others. Girls are often their own harshest critics, holding onto guilt long after a mistake has passed.

🔹 What you can say to your daughter:
"If you wouldn’t say something to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Be kind to you."

🔹 Try this:
Ask, "Is there something you’re being really hard on yourself about?"
Each of you write down one kind thing you can say to yourself when you feel guilty.

Helping Your Daughter Understand Forgiveness
Charlotte, these conversations aren’t always easy, but they are so important. By guiding your daughter to redefine forgiveness, set boundaries, and let go of pain in a way that protects her, you’re helping her grow into a strong and emotionally healthy young woman.

Does your daughter struggle with forgiveness? Hit reply and let me know what she’s working through—I’d love to help.

Raising a daughter comes with incredible moments—but also difficult ones, especially when it comes to friendships. If you've ever felt helpless watching your daughter struggle with mean girl behavior, exclusion, or shifting friendships, this course is for you.

By joining Beyond the Drama, you'll gain:

 A Clear Roadmap for Support – Understand the hidden dynamics of girl friendships so you can confidently guide your daughter through the ups and downs.

 Proven Strategies to End the Guesswork – Learn exactly what to say (and what to avoid) when your daughter comes to you upset about a friend.

 Tools to Help Her Handle Drama with Confidence – Give her the skills to stand up for herself, navigate conflicts, and build healthier friendships.

 Less Stress, More Connection – Strengthen your bond with your daughter by offering support without feeling overwhelmed or unsure of how to help.

 Easy-to-Digest Lessons – With video modules, downloadable guides, and even podcast-style episodes, you can learn on the go and revisit materials whenever you need.

Instead of feeling frustrated or lost, you'll feel empowered to help your daughter move beyond the drama and develop lifelong friendship skills.

Parent Tips: Ready to stop the cycle of hurt and confusion? Join "Beyond the Drama" today and give your daughter the confidence to thrive!  

An Invitation for Your Daughter

If your daughter is navigating friendship struggles or experiencing a dip in self-confidence, I invite you to explore our memberships. She’s welcome to join us as a guest for an upcoming call!

Join Us!

Choose the group that’s right for your daughter:

• The Brave Girl Tribe (5th to 8th-grade): Every Sunday at 7 PM EST / 6 PM CST / 4 PM PST. Reminder that we are meeting tonight!
• High School Girls Support Group: Meets Sunday at 1 PM EST / 12 PM CST / 10 AM PST. We are meeting today and the following upcoming dates  3/16, 3/30.

Warmly,

Laura Hayes
Founder of The Brave Girl Project
Life Coach for Tween & Teen Girls
www.TheBraveGirlProject.com
[email protected]
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