The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

Do you have multiple teenagers living in your house?

If you do have multiple teenagers  I admire you and I'm scared to even ask how many hours you spend in your car each week just driving your kids to all of their activities.

It is so hard dividing our time and attention equally when we have multiple children and when each child has their own set of activities and needs, it can feel like a constant juggling act. I know the busyness of life and the running around can leave us wondering if we’re truly able to make each of our children feel loved and supported.

I was recently reminded of this during a conversation with a dear friend, Ella. She shared a story that many of us can relate to. Ella’s sister, Kim, faced a scheduling conflict: she couldn't attend her daughter Emma’s field hockey game because she was already committed to supporting her son at his football game. Determined to ensure that both her children felt supported, Kim asked Ella to step in and...

Has your daughter experienced a friend who seems to be quietly trying to turn others against her?

Perhaps this friend shares negative stories about your daughter when she isn’t around or makes subtle, backhanded comments in front of their friends.

Maybe your daughter has tried to talk to this friend to understand why she’s acting this way, only to be met with denial or no clear explanation.

This kind of behavior often comes from insecurity; the friend may be afraid others will like your daughter more and, in trying to avoid feeling left out, resort to behaviors that undermine your daughter.

If your daughter is dealing with a friend like this, it can be painful and confusing to navigate. Here are some ways you can support her through this challenging experience—helping her stay confident, set healthy boundaries, and strengthen her positive friendships.

The first step in supporting your daughter is helping her to become aware of the signs of insecure, sabotaging...

It can be so tough supporting our daughters through their ups and downs. I know that it can feel overwhelming at times, especially when it seems like we’re carrying the weight of their emotions.

That’s why this week, I recorded a podcast episode just for you on How To Handle Your Daughter's Tough Emotions Without Feeling Overwhelmed: Tips for Moms. 

In the episode, we explore what emotional dumping looks like, how to spot when it’s happening, and, most importantly, how to guide our daughters toward handling their own emotions in healthy ways. If you're short on time, here’s a sneak peek at some key takeaways that you can apply today:

1. Venting or Problem-Solving?

One of the most helpful ways to manage these tough conversations is to ask your daughter, "Do you just want to vent, or are you looking for advice?" This simple question sets the tone, so you're not left guessing whether she wants a listening ear or help...

The start of the school year is a very stressful time of year and settling into a schedule can feel like it takes quite a bit of time.  I’m still trying to settle into my own school schedule. If your daughter hasn’t quite figured out her routine yet, don’t sweat it—it takes time to adjust to the new back-to-school rhythm.

Here are 5 tailored tips to help manage these back-to-school schedule challenges, especially if your daughter is feeling worn out or, like me, caught the inevitable back-to-school cold:

1. Prioritizing Sleep:
Sleep significantly impacts health, especially during the teenage years. Striving for 9 to 12 hours per night can seem daunting, but it’s essential for both physical health and academic performance. To help, work backwards from the time she needs to be at school to determine her ideal bedtime. This ensures she can complete her morning routine without rushing and still get ample sleep.

2. Creating a Visual Schedule:
...

 As the school year draws to a close, we're all caught in a whirlwind of activities. Amid this bustle, the reality of the year's end can bring a mix of emotions that catch us off guard. Understanding how to navigate these emotional complexities is crucial, not just for our kids but also for us as parents.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Year-End Transitions

Endings and new beginnings often bring a cocktail of emotions—pride, grief, melancholy, relief, and joy. It's important to let ourselves fully experience these feelings. Inspired by a recent episode of Lynn Lyons' podcast, Fluster Clux, discussing the big emotions around graduation, I'm reminded that these transitions are significant for everyone involved—whether moving from elementary to middle school, from middle school to high school, or venturing off to college.

Four Quick Tips to Survive the End of the School Year Chaos (Courtesy of Lindsay B Jernigan in Psychology Today):

Feel Your Emotions: Take a moment to...

It can be so hard for our daughters to navigate through the ending of a friendship.

Recently, a client shared her struggles with the ending of a friendship. This young girl finds herself grappling with a whirlwind of emotions: grief, anger, frustration, and confusion, all while sharing a classroom with someone she once called her best friend (If your daughter is feeling intense emotions but has a hard time naming them, download my Feeling Wheel - (Download now.)

Each day brings challenges for my client, from interpreting sidelong glances to understanding the shifting dynamics of recess alliances. It's as if an invisible line has been drawn in the classroom, dividing former friends and compelling my client to feel she must rally others to her side in a silent battle for companionship.

Similarly, many teens experience the fallout of friendships within their broader social circles, leaving them to navigate the delicate balance of still being in a larger group with someone they are...

In our ongoing discussions about fostering healthy friendships for our daughters, let's delve into one of my favorite analogies that I use with girls.

Picture a scale that exists in relationships with your daughter on one side of the scale, and as she interacts with other people, the scale can go up or down or stay balanced based on the energies that are exchanged.

When these scales are in equilibrium, it reflects a mutual and respectful connection. Each girl contributes to the scale, creating a harmonious exchange that builds genuine friendships. However, there are times when the scales become imbalanced, often stemming from one party trying too hard to please.Imagine your daughter enthusiastically adding positive energy to the scale, wanting to contribute to the friendship. However, if the other side takes advantage or perceives this eagerness as a weakness, the scales tip drastically. The pleaser scale drops significantly compared to the more socially popular girl, leaving an...

In our most recent Brave Girl Tribe call, part of my Life Coaching Virtual program designed for girls in 5th to 8th grade, the girls bravely opened up about their experiences with worry and anxiety. Their courage shed light on a common struggle that many of our tweens and teens face.

This time of year, we often see an increase in worry and anxiety as the demands of school increase, friendship changes and breakdowns happen, and the winter gloomies start.The Fear of Fear: Breaking the Worry Cycle

Some members of the Brave Girl Tribe opened up about fearing their own anxiety, particularly the worry of experiencing a panic attack. It's crucial to recognize that this fear can create a cycle that intensifies anxiety. In our discussions, we've emphasized that avoidance only strengthens worry.

The first step in encouraging our girls to manage their worry and anxiety is to externalize their worry by giving it a name. This helps our girls separate themselves from worry and not get down on...

Hi Brave Friends,

This last week in The Brave Girl Tribe, my virtual online community for girls in 5th to 8th grade, one of my girls asked for tips on how to handle if you have a friend that is nice to you but mean to other people and you are starting middle school together in the fall.

It can be a challenging situation to navigate. Here is the advice that I shared with her to help her manage this situation:

1. Recognize their behavior: Acknowledge that your friend might struggle with social skills or feel insecure around new people. This can help you approach the situation with empathy and understanding.

2. Discuss their behavior privately: Find an appropriate time to talk to your friend privately. Express your observations about how they come across to others and how it might affect their ability to form new friendships. Be gentle and non-judgmental in your approach.

3. Offer constructive feedback: Provide specific examples of situations where their behavior may have...

Hi Brave Friends,

Welcome fellow adventurers, to a world of empowerment and growth!

Picture this: a virtual gathering of bright minds, a tribe of brave girls ready to conquer the challenges of middle school with confidence and resilience. Step into The Brave Girl Tribe, a remarkable online community dedicated to empowering and supporting girls in the transformative journey from 5th to 8th grade.

During one of our recent coaching calls within The Brave Girl Tribe, we embarked on a journey of identifying life skills needed for success in middle school. It was a thought-provoking and enriching session where the girls and I delved into the social and emotional aspects that play a crucial role in their growth and well-being as they prepare to transition into high school.

We compiled a list of the life skills needed in middle school. Lots of the girls are practicing some of these important skills this summer, and the attached video may be the perfect inspiration for your...