The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

I want to address a poignant question raised by one of my Instagram followers, who expressed concerns about feeling a growing distance between her and her teenage daughter.

It's a challenge many parents face as their children navigate the tumultuous waters of adolescence.

To shed some light on this matter, I turned to Dr. Cam Caswell, an Adolescent Psychologist and Parent Coach, who provides valuable insights into why teens may withdraw from their parents.
Dr. Caswell identifies three key reasons why teens may stop sharing their lives with their parents:

1. Teens Feel a Lack of Active Listening: Teens want to be heard, not just talked at. When parents don't actively listen, it can create a barrier to communication.

2. Feeling Judged: The fear of judgment can be paralyzing for teens. If they sense criticism or disapproval, they may be hesitant to open up.

3. Parental Overreactions: Teens often navigate intense emotions and need a safe space to express themselves. If parents...

In our most recent Brave Girl Tribe call, part of my Life Coaching Virtual program designed for girls in 5th to 8th grade, the girls bravely opened up about their experiences with worry and anxiety. Their courage shed light on a common struggle that many of our tweens and teens face.

This time of year, we often see an increase in worry and anxiety as the demands of school increase, friendship changes and breakdowns happen, and the winter gloomies start.The Fear of Fear: Breaking the Worry Cycle

Some members of the Brave Girl Tribe opened up about fearing their own anxiety, particularly the worry of experiencing a panic attack. It's crucial to recognize that this fear can create a cycle that intensifies anxiety. In our discussions, we've emphasized that avoidance only strengthens worry.

The first step in encouraging our girls to manage their worry and anxiety is to externalize their worry by giving it a name. This helps our girls separate themselves from worry and not get down on...

We all have those moments when our minds seem stuck in a never-ending loop, like a hamster running on a wheel.

Recently, I have found myself on a hamster wheel replaying a problem repeatedly, and I have noticed I am not alone, as many of my coaching clients are also stuck on their own hamster wheels.

That is why I wanted to share with you information about rumination.

Rumination is a term that describes a common pattern of thinking that many of us experience at times. When we are ruminating, we repeatedly focus on a problem, a loss, or a setback without moving forward into taking action.

For parents and teen girls, rumination often involves obsessing about issues, replaying them in your mind, and getting lost in those thoughts. This constant replaying can deepen feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even self-blame. It's like being stuck in a loop where you can't let go of these negative thoughts, which continue to affect your mood and well-being.

It's essential to recognize that,...

This past Friday night, I attended our local high school's first football game of the season. It was heartwarming to witness the high schoolers hanging out with their friends; the palpable excitement and butterflies in the air were infectious. Admittedly, I observed their social dynamics more than the game itself – though I know that our team emerged victorious!

As I watched these interactions, I couldn't help but wonder about the inner thoughts of these teens following their moments with friends. Sometimes, body language can be a revealing storyteller, hinting at those instances where Automatic Negative Thoughts might have crept in after their interactions.

Stepping into a brand-new school year, the whirlwind of change and the rapid shifts in our surroundings can sometimes trigger automatic negative thoughts.

In this Blog, we're on a mission to unpack some of these typical thinking patterns that we might come across. Getting a handle on these patterns can give us the...

As parents, we embark on a beautiful journey with our children, witnessing their growth and development at every step.

Along this path, we encounter moments of joy, laughter, and love, but we also face challenges and complexities that can be overwhelming.

As our children grow and navigate new emotions, they may struggle to find the right words to express what's happening inside. That's where the "Feeling Wheel" becomes an invaluable tool – a compass guiding the ups and downs of emotions in our homes or even during car rides.

We want to help our kids to develop their emotional literacy and learn how to describe emotions beyond "Happy," "Sad," "Mad," and "Scared." When we ask our children how they feel, their answers are often limited.

"Happy," "Sad," "Mad," and "Scared" are fundamental emotions, but the richness of our emotional landscape extends far beyond these four labels. The Feeling Wheel unlocks a treasure trove of emotions, giving our children a vocabulary to...

As August begins, I can't help but feel the back-to-school blues, even though I'm no longer a student or a school counselor. Now, I'm a parent supporting a high schooler, and it's time to get myself and my son back into the school routine.

Does back-to-school stress you out too?

Thankfully, my son has been working all summer and getting up early, so we aren't too far from our regular school routine. Another relief is that he no longer experiences the anxiety he used to have during elementary school. However, I know that many families and kids struggle with the anxiety that comes with the uncertainty and stress of starting a new school year.  I want to share some tips on how to support your child through the worry and anxiety that often accompanies the beginning of the school year.

Now, let's explore how worry works in our brains.

Worry is a natural part of our survival mechanism, helping us stay safe and react quickly in dangerous situations. It's the alarm that helps us...

Did you know that dating relationships among girls can start as early as 6th grade, and these early relationships are becoming more prevalent?

While these relationships may initially seem harmless, studies reveal that many girls in this age group can experience violence within such relationships. In many cases, "dating" doesn't mean much besides spending time together. Statistically, 72% of 13 and 14-year-olds are "dating," but even girls at this age can experience violence in a dating relationship. Discussing the signs of an abusive relationship early is important because fostering a healthy parent/child relationship can stop the violence before it happens.

A pattern of abuse established in adolescence can lead to:

Substance Abuse:
One of the distressing consequences of enduring abuse in adolescence is the increased risk of developing substance abuse issues. Teens trapped in abusive relationships may turn to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism to escape the emotional or physical...

 Hi Brave Parents,

As the school year comes to an end, some teenagers may find themselves feeling anxious or apprehensive about the summer break. Your Daughter might have grown accustomed to the routine, structure, and social connections that school provides, and the thought of a long break can be overwhelming. It's okay if your daughter is excited, sad, and anxious all at once. It just means she's processing the upcoming shifts and adjusting to the new chapter in her life. Change can be uncomfortable and uncertain, and it's natural for worry and anxiety to have your daughter seeking comfort and certainty.

If your teen is struggling with this transition, there are ways to help them embrace the summer and discover new opportunities for growth and enjoyment. One effective strategy is to encourage your teen to create a summer bucket list. This simple yet powerful tool can help them shift their focus from the end of the school year to the exciting possibilities that lie ahead....

Hi Brave Parents,

As your daughter navigates the challenges of growing up, it's natural for her to encounter moments of disappointment and unfairness. As a parent, you have the power to provide support and help her overcome these hurdles. 

Here are six tips to make the journey easier:

1. Listen and Validate: When your daughter is experiencing disappointment or feelings of unfairness, the first step is to listen to her and validate her feelings. Let her know that you hear her and that her emotions are important.
2. Provide Perspective: Help your daughter put things in perspective by reminding her of all the things she has accomplished and overcome in the past. Encourage her to view setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.
3. Encourage Positive Self-Talk: Self-talk is a powerful tool for managing emotions. Encourage your daughter to practice positive self-talk by using affirmations such as "I am capable" or "I will overcome this challenge."
4. Help Her Find a Healthy Outlet:...

I recently conducted a poll on Instagram asking my followers if they had ever been rejected by a friend who joined a more popular group. Shockingly, 100% of them had gone through this experience. In The Brave Girl Tribe, this is a common topic among the girls.

Pursuing popularity can be problematic as it often overrides healthy social skills. For teens, popularity is more about social dynamics and seeking power and status, which can lead to fear and aggression among peers.

A study from the University of Virginia found that preteens who were most concerned about being popular tended to act older and more mature and were more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Interestingly, the group of tweens who acted more mature were the more popular kids in middle school but were the least socially successful as young adults.

To help your daughter seek genuine friendships rather than the pull of popularity, ask her what qualities she values in her friends and if her current friends meet...