The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

Parents often ask me how they can help their shy daughters make friends. When I am asked this question, it makes me think of my younger self. One thing you may not know about me is I was a shy girl growing up. I often worried about what other people thought of me and if people would like me.

I understand how challenging it can be to make new friends. During those moments of trying to connect with others, it can feel lonely, and it might seem like it's taking an eternity to form meaningful bonds.

As a parent, I also know that this journey can leave you feeling powerless, wishing that others could see just how special and unique your daughter truly is.

The first step in supporting both our daughters and ourselves is becoming aware of our beliefs and assumptions about ourselves.

Shy teen girls may have various beliefs that contribute to their shyness or social anxiety. These beliefs can be limiting and affect their ability to make friends and engage in social situations. 

...

 I was incredibly fortunate to attend a Sting concert and let me tell you, it was absolutely amazing!

Listening to him perform "Message In A Bottle" brought back a flood of memories from my teenage years. Even after all this time, the lyrics still tug at my heartstrings.

The lyrics resonate with me, reminding me of all the girls heading back to school, feeling like they're castaways on lonely islands, but here's the truth: they're not alone in feeling alone. A whole sea of girls are out there, all searching for their place to belong.

Over the past few weeks, I've received numerous messages from parents reaching out for guidance on supporting their daughters during these challenging transitions in school and friendships.

 I created an Instagram Reel with tips on this very topic:

1. Create a Safe Home Space: Ensure your home is safe and welcoming, where your daughter feels comfortable sharing her experiences.

2. Manage Your Emotional Reaction: Managing your emotions when she...

This past Friday night, I attended our local high school's first football game of the season. It was heartwarming to witness the high schoolers hanging out with their friends; the palpable excitement and butterflies in the air were infectious. Admittedly, I observed their social dynamics more than the game itself – though I know that our team emerged victorious!

As I watched these interactions, I couldn't help but wonder about the inner thoughts of these teens following their moments with friends. Sometimes, body language can be a revealing storyteller, hinting at those instances where Automatic Negative Thoughts might have crept in after their interactions.

Stepping into a brand-new school year, the whirlwind of change and the rapid shifts in our surroundings can sometimes trigger automatic negative thoughts.

In this Blog, we're on a mission to unpack some of these typical thinking patterns that we might come across. Getting a handle on these patterns can give us the...

"Remember, You are bigger than your anxiety!"

As the new school year dawns, it's natural for your daughter to feel a whirlwind of excitement, nervousness, and perhaps a touch of anxiety. But guess what? She's not alone in this journey, and with your support, she is stronger than she thinks.

Embracing change, like starting a new school year, can be overwhelming for your daughter, especially with thoughts of shifting friendships, unfamiliar teachers, and navigating multiple classes. But with the right guidance and encouragement, she can tackle these challenges and rediscover her inner strength.

• Embrace Change as Growth:
  Change can be intimidating, but it's also an opportunity for growth. Encourage your daughter to see the new school year as a chance to meet new people, learn exciting things, and discover aspects of herself she never knew existed. Embrace the unknown with an open heart, and you'll find that even the most daunting situations can become rewarding experiences.
• Navigating...

Starting a new school year can be exciting but can also bring challenges, especially for children without close friends in their classes.

Understanding the Emotional Impact:
When a child realizes they're not in class with their close friends, it can trigger strong emotions like sadness, worry, and even anger. Acknowledging and understanding these emotions is crucial for parents. Start by recognizing the significance of the situation and how it might affect your child emotionally. Remember, your child's feelings are valid, and creating a safe space to express themselves without judgment is essential.

7 Tips for Parents

1. Manage Your Own Emotions:
   Parents play a vital role in helping their children cope with these feelings. Begin by managing your own emotions, expectations, and fears. If you've requested specific classmates for your child and the request wasn't met, it's natural to feel upset. However, remaining calm and centered is essential for supporting your child effectively.
2. ...

Hi Brave Parents,

Is your teen stressed about getting a job?  Maybe they just don't know where to start, feel overwhelmed, and simply are stuck and not taking action.

I know as a parent, we want the best for our tweens and teens, and part of that involves equipping them with the necessary skills to succeed in life. I recently shared in a Facebook Live my new course, Success Starts Here.

This is a  comprehensive online program designed to empower young individuals with the knowledge and tools they need to thrive professionally. 

Here are some of the reasons that you need to get this course for your tween or teen.

Filling the Gap in Traditional Education:
One of the key reasons why the Success Starts Here course is crucial for tweens and teens is that it fills a significant gap in traditional education. While schools provide academic knowledge, they often overlook essential life skills vital for workplace success. This course bridges that gap by teaching practical skills...

Hi Brave Parents,

As your daughter navigates the challenges of growing up, it's natural for her to encounter moments of disappointment and unfairness. As a parent, you have the power to provide support and help her overcome these hurdles. 

Here are six tips to make the journey easier:

1. Listen and Validate: When your daughter is experiencing disappointment or feelings of unfairness, the first step is to listen to her and validate her feelings. Let her know that you hear her and that her emotions are important.
2. Provide Perspective: Help your daughter put things in perspective by reminding her of all the things she has accomplished and overcome in the past. Encourage her to view setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.
3. Encourage Positive Self-Talk: Self-talk is a powerful tool for managing emotions. Encourage your daughter to practice positive self-talk by using affirmations such as "I am capable" or "I will overcome this challenge."
4. Help Her Find a Healthy Outlet:...

I recently conducted a poll on Instagram asking my followers if they had ever been rejected by a friend who joined a more popular group. Shockingly, 100% of them had gone through this experience. In The Brave Girl Tribe, this is a common topic among the girls.

Pursuing popularity can be problematic as it often overrides healthy social skills. For teens, popularity is more about social dynamics and seeking power and status, which can lead to fear and aggression among peers.

A study from the University of Virginia found that preteens who were most concerned about being popular tended to act older and more mature and were more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Interestingly, the group of tweens who acted more mature were the more popular kids in middle school but were the least socially successful as young adults.

To help your daughter seek genuine friendships rather than the pull of popularity, ask her what qualities she values in her friends and if her current friends meet...

Is your daughter a caring, attentive friend who helps out her friends as much as she can? However, when your daughter is struggling and needs the same caring, thoughtful friend, she seems to be alone. 

A lot of the girls I work with are so sweet and want to help their friends, but many heartaches happen because they don't have the boundaries they need to keep themselves safe in their relationships.

In The Brave Girl Tribe, we learned about boundaries, and I used Nedra Glover Tawwab's book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide To Reclaiming Yourself, as a resource. If your daughter is struggling to set boundaries, this book may be a great resource. 

Why is setting boundaries so challenging for your daughter?

Here are the nine reasons that might make setting boundaries challenging for your daughter. Please share this list with your daughter and see which ones are tough for her. You can even share what is challenging for you. 

1. You fear being seen as...

Hi Brave Friends,

As part of the Inner Spring Cleaning, I will be sharing weekly meditations. 

This week we start with a Loving Kindness Meditation to help inspire compassion for yourself, family, friends, and even those people that bring up negative emotions in you.

There is a free Love and Kindness Journaling Page that is included in The Inner Spring Cleaning Mental Health Cleanse Journal that you can download. Do this quick activity after your meditation!  This will really help you deepen your experience.

Meditating has been the one thing that has truly made a difference in how I feel and how I react to everyday stressors in my life. 

I would love to hear your thoughts after doing this practice. Please leave a comment below.

I have a poster that you can print out and keep by your workspace so that you can do this practice anytime.

 Wishing you a wonderful day!

Love,
Laura