The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

As the new school year begins, many of our daughters are facing back-to-school challenges, which can bring up feelings of exclusion, loneliness, and uncertainty. I've heard several girls share common experiences during this time:

• "My friends are talking about things that I am not a part of since I'm not in classes with them, and I feel really left out."
• "There are kids who made fun of me in elementary school that are now in my lunch block, and I feel like they are staring and talking about me."
• "I have no one to sit with at lunch—or at least no one I really want to sit with."
• "I asked a girl to partner with me, and every time she says no, and that she she wants to work alone. But when another group asks her, she'll join them. I really don't know what to do now."

These are tough situations, and as parents, it's natural to want to fix them. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply listen. Our daughters need to feel heard and validated. Acknowledge their...

As I approached the start of 8th grade, my family moved to a new town several states away from where I had grown up. That summer, I was buzzing with dreams of becoming popular at my new middle school. Many girls envision returning to school and suddenly finding themselves part of the popular group. However, we often discover that reality doesn't live up to the lofty hopes and dreams we nurture over the summer.

This past weekend in The Brave Girl Tribe, the girls shared their own stories about friends who have left them behind for the more popular group. It’s a common experience, but that doesn’t make it any less challenging.

Understanding the different types of popularity and how perceptions change from the tween to teen years can help us better support our daughters. Let's explore these concepts and practical strategies to guide our girls in navigating their social worlds.

Types of Popularity

Research focuses on two different types of popularity: Status-Based Popularity...

Empowering Your Daughter to Overcome Bullying

In The Brave Girl Tribe, many girls have courageously shared their experiences of being bullied by classmates and even friends. Hearing these stories has been incredibly helpful for others, showing them they are not alone and providing encouragement and support from their peers.

We understand the growing anxiety our girls may feel, especially during transitions such as moving into middle school or starting a new school. It's natural for them to worry about facing such challenges again.

Our goal is to equip you with strategies to help your daughter cope with past bullying experiences and empower her to rise above them and thrive.

Why is it so easy for our daughters to believe their bullies? Understanding this can help us better support our girls in building resilience against bullying.

8 Psychological Insights Into Why Girls Believe Their Bullies

1. Negativity Bias: Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information. This...

I want to share a simple yet powerful guideline that can help our daughters become more thoughtful in their daily interactions. This insight, known as the '30-Second Rule,' comes from Ms. Natalie Ringold, a 4th-grade teacher who shares her wisdom on Instagram under the handle @always.upper.elementary. Through a compelling Instagram Reel, Ms. Ringold introduces us to this valuable concept, encouraging kindness and thoughtfulness in everyday moments.

The "30-Second Rule" is a simple yet effective guideline that can greatly improve social interactions: If someone can't change something about themselves in 30 seconds or less, then it's not something that should be pointed out.
For example, if someone has spinach in their teeth or a tag sticking out of their shirt—go ahead and tell them quietly. These are helpful comments because they can quickly rectify the issue. However, critiquing someone’s outfit, their body shape, color or texture of their hair, or any other aspect that...

Today, I am thrilled to share something very close to my heart—the launch of our Survive and Thrive in Middle School Course  for both parents and daughters. But before I dive into the details, I'd like to take a moment to tell you a story about how this course came to life.

Last July, I set out to transform the guidance and strategies I’ve shared with middle school girls in my groups into something bigger—a comprehensive course. What started as a simple idea quickly turned into a passionate labor of love. But I'll be honest, this journey hasn't been without its challenges. It also became a personal battle with my own perfectionism and imposter syndrome. Every step of creating this course forced me to confront these challenges, pushing me to grow alongside the very lessons I aimed to teach.

Today, I am excited to introduce Survive and Thrive in Middle School Course designed to empower you and your daughter during a pivotal phase of her life. This course isn't...

 As the school year draws to a close, we're all caught in a whirlwind of activities. Amid this bustle, the reality of the year's end can bring a mix of emotions that catch us off guard. Understanding how to navigate these emotional complexities is crucial, not just for our kids but also for us as parents.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Year-End Transitions

Endings and new beginnings often bring a cocktail of emotions—pride, grief, melancholy, relief, and joy. It's important to let ourselves fully experience these feelings. Inspired by a recent episode of Lynn Lyons' podcast, Fluster Clux, discussing the big emotions around graduation, I'm reminded that these transitions are significant for everyone involved—whether moving from elementary to middle school, from middle school to high school, or venturing off to college.

Four Quick Tips to Survive the End of the School Year Chaos (Courtesy of Lindsay B Jernigan in Psychology Today):

Feel Your Emotions: Take a moment to...

As summer beckons with its promise of endless possibilities, it's the perfect time to dream big and plan even bigger! This year, we're taking the summer bucket list to a new level of excitement and personal growth.

Why Create a Summer Growth Bucket List?
Summer isn't just a break from school—it's a vibrant season to explore new interests, master skills, and push the boundaries of what you think is possible. Whether your daughter wants to dive into a new book series, learn a digital skill, or start a mini-business, there's no limit to what she can achieve with a bit of imagination and a lot of inspiration.

I've created a Summer Bucket List PDF featuring six unique worksheets designed to help you and your daughter craft a summer filled with cherished memories. Drawing on my experience as a school counselor, I often faced what I call 'summer regret' when returning to school, realizing I hadn't accomplished everything I'd hoped during the break—a sentiment echoed by my...

Anxiety can build as final exams and standardized testing season approaches. It’s a critical time for our students, especially those managing ADHD. Let’s explore how we can help our daughters feel less overwhelmed and more empowered during this stressful time of year.

Navigating the educational journey with your tween or teen girl can be both rewarding and challenging, particularly when ADHD is part of the equation. This condition can affect executive functioning, making it difficult for your daughter to plan, prioritize, and execute tasks. Understanding this can help us support them better.

Instead of asking, "Have you started studying for your finals?" here are some other helpful ways to check in with your daughter that hopefully won't shut her down, especially if she procrastinates because of stress. 

When we check in, ask:

"How can I help you study for your finals?"
"Would it be helpful for me to be an accountability partner to help keep you focused and on...

This week, a concerned parent shared with me a difficult situation their daughter is experiencing, which may resonate with many of you.

"My daughter was recently informed by two friends that she and her best friend are not included in their prom plans. The reason given was that the group doesn't like her best friend. Out of concern for her friend’s feelings, my daughter has chosen not to share this reason with her. She confessed to feeling deeply hurt by what she considered her closest group of friends. My daughter is conflicted about encouraging her best friend to find someone else to go to prom with and seeing if she could still join the larger group. She’s upset about missing out on the group activities, especially the large group pictures at prom. She’s starting to suspect that the group's issue with her best friend might actually be a pretext for excluding her as well. Seeing her so affected by this situation leaves me unsure about the best way to support her...

I understand firsthand the challenges of supporting our daughters through rejection, friendship drama, and their journey to find their people.

Research indicates that parents often experience their children's emotions deeply, which can be especially true when daughters face friendship challenges. It's exhausting to help your daughter navigate school, friendships, and the complexities of social dynamics. Feeling a mix of anxiety, stress, worry, and heartache is natural when you see your daughter struggling to fit in or find her way.

Research also suggests that parents have a strong instinct to protect their children from harm, including emotional pain. When we witness our daughters grappling with friendship issues, we may feel a strong urge to step in and solve the problem, even though we know it's not always possible. This can lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness.

In moments like these, it's important to remember that you're not alone. Many parents are facing similar...