The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

Do you have multiple teenagers living in your house?

If you do have multiple teenagers  I admire you and I'm scared to even ask how many hours you spend in your car each week just driving your kids to all of their activities.

It is so hard dividing our time and attention equally when we have multiple children and when each child has their own set of activities and needs, it can feel like a constant juggling act. I know the busyness of life and the running around can leave us wondering if we’re truly able to make each of our children feel loved and supported.

I was recently reminded of this during a conversation with a dear friend, Ella. She shared a story that many of us can relate to. Ella’s sister, Kim, faced a scheduling conflict: she couldn't attend her daughter Emma’s field hockey game because she was already committed to supporting her son at his football game. Determined to ensure that both her children felt supported, Kim asked Ella to step in and...

Has your daughter experienced a friend who seems to be quietly trying to turn others against her?

Perhaps this friend shares negative stories about your daughter when she isn’t around or makes subtle, backhanded comments in front of their friends.

Maybe your daughter has tried to talk to this friend to understand why she’s acting this way, only to be met with denial or no clear explanation.

This kind of behavior often comes from insecurity; the friend may be afraid others will like your daughter more and, in trying to avoid feeling left out, resort to behaviors that undermine your daughter.

If your daughter is dealing with a friend like this, it can be painful and confusing to navigate. Here are some ways you can support her through this challenging experience—helping her stay confident, set healthy boundaries, and strengthen her positive friendships.

The first step in supporting your daughter is helping her to become aware of the signs of insecure, sabotaging...

This past Saturday, my son Logan and I participated in The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Community Walk in Washington, DC.

In 2008, my family suffered a tremendous loss when we lost my father to suicide. Since then, my sisters and I have made it our mission to raise awareness and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health. My sister, Sarah Kurtz, chaired this year’s DC walk, and I couldn’t be prouder of the work she’s done.

Through this journey, I’ve learned just how critical it is to have open conversations about mental health, especially when it comes to our children and teens.

One of the greatest challenges in addressing mental health is the stigma that surrounds it. Many children and teens feel isolated and afraid to speak up about their feelings. By fostering open conversations, we can help normalize these discussions and ensure they feel safe to reach out for help.

It’s important to be aware of changes in...

It can be so tough supporting our daughters through their ups and downs. I know that it can feel overwhelming at times, especially when it seems like we’re carrying the weight of their emotions.

That’s why this week, I recorded a podcast episode just for you on How To Handle Your Daughter's Tough Emotions Without Feeling Overwhelmed: Tips for Moms. 

In the episode, we explore what emotional dumping looks like, how to spot when it’s happening, and, most importantly, how to guide our daughters toward handling their own emotions in healthy ways. If you're short on time, here’s a sneak peek at some key takeaways that you can apply today:

1. Venting or Problem-Solving?

One of the most helpful ways to manage these tough conversations is to ask your daughter, "Do you just want to vent, or are you looking for advice?" This simple question sets the tone, so you're not left guessing whether she wants a listening ear or help...

In our ongoing conversation about the complexities of mother-daughter relationships, this week we're tackling a particularly tricky subject that many of us encounter: passive-aggressive behavior in our teens.

Building on our previous discussion about supporting our daughters through passive-aggressive friendships, if you didn't get a chance to read last week's newsletter check out our blog post on The 5 Signs That Your Daughter Has A Passive Aggressive Friend.

Let's explore how these behaviors can emerge at home and what we can do to address them effectively.

What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior?

Passive-aggressive behavior is often a form of expressing anger or resentment indirectly. This can manifest through sarcasm, procrastination, or silent forms of resistance like the silent treatment or subtle sabotage. It's a sign that our teens may struggle with openly communicating their frustrations, often due to feelings of insecurity or an underdeveloped ability to...

As the new school year begins, many of our daughters are facing back-to-school challenges, which can bring up feelings of exclusion, loneliness, and uncertainty. I've heard several girls share common experiences during this time:

• "My friends are talking about things that I am not a part of since I'm not in classes with them, and I feel really left out."
• "There are kids who made fun of me in elementary school that are now in my lunch block, and I feel like they are staring and talking about me."
• "I have no one to sit with at lunch—or at least no one I really want to sit with."
• "I asked a girl to partner with me, and every time she says no, and that she she wants to work alone. But when another group asks her, she'll join them. I really don't know what to do now."

These are tough situations, and as parents, it's natural to want to fix them. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply listen. Our daughters need to feel heard and validated. Acknowledge their...

As our kids return to school, the excitement of reuniting with friends often comes mixed with anxieties about past conflicts and evolving social dynamics. It's normal for daughters to worry about questions like:

• "Is my friend still mad about that huge mix-up we had last year? I hope it’s not weird between us now."
• "Did my friends hang out a lot without me this summer? What if they’re not that into me anymore?"
• "What if I don’t have any classes or even lunch with my friends? That would totally suck."
• "Are my friends still caught up in all that drama from last year? I really don’t want to deal with more of them hating on each other."

These concerns can transform into nighttime worries, making it difficult for girls to sleep and start the school year with confidence.

To help manage these fears, it's crucial we teach our daughters how to control negative thoughts. Understanding the 9 Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and how to counteract them with...

As the new school year approaches, it's a great time to reflect on the valuable lessons and skills that can help our girls thrive in middle and high school. Transitioning to middle school can be a challenging time, filled with new experiences and expectations.
 Here are the three key takeaways that rising middle school girls need to know before starting middle school:

1. Friendships Evolve: Not everyone will remain a close friend, and that's okay. It's natural for friendships to change as you grow.
2. Self-Advocacy: Learn to speak up for yourself. Whether it's in class or with friends, expressing your needs and boundaries is crucial.
3. Organization is Key: Keeping track of assignments, due dates, and extracurricular activities can prevent overwhelm. Use planners or digital apps to stay organized.

Help Your Daughter with Back-to-School Worries: Is your child’s anxiety about the new school year starting to feel overwhelming? We understand the challenges these moments can...

I loved watching the Olympics and often find myself on the edge of my seat as if these athletes are my own family members. The dedication and sacrifices these women and men make are nothing short of inspiring.
Who is inspiring you?

I have been inspired by Ilona Maher, a member of the US Women's Rugby Team that won the bronze medal. I love her positive messages, from fueling our bodies to appreciating what our bodies allow us to do, to inspiring others to "find a place where you feel comfortable, fit, and are able to express yourself."

In one tearful video, Ilona shared that it hurts when people call her masculine or suggest that she takes steroids. She went on to share:

"They think women should be fragile and petite and quiet and meek, but that’s not the case. Women can be strong, and they can have broad shoulders, and they can take up space, and they can be big. I think I’m getting emotional because I feel very passionate about this. There will always be negative people...

As I approached the start of 8th grade, my family moved to a new town several states away from where I had grown up. That summer, I was buzzing with dreams of becoming popular at my new middle school. Many girls envision returning to school and suddenly finding themselves part of the popular group. However, we often discover that reality doesn't live up to the lofty hopes and dreams we nurture over the summer.

This past weekend in The Brave Girl Tribe, the girls shared their own stories about friends who have left them behind for the more popular group. It’s a common experience, but that doesn’t make it any less challenging.

Understanding the different types of popularity and how perceptions change from the tween to teen years can help us better support our daughters. Let's explore these concepts and practical strategies to guide our girls in navigating their social worlds.

Types of Popularity

Research focuses on two different types of popularity: Status-Based Popularity...