The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

One thing you may not know about me is that I love to learn.

I am surprised by my love of learning as I was not an eager student in high school, but today, I am excited to participate in the SPACE Program training with the Yale Child Study Center led by Dr. Eli Lebowitz. SPACE stands for Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions.

As a parent I have supported my child when they have felt anxious and I am sure you have had to support your child through their worry or anxiety as well. It can be so challenging to know what to do and if what you are doing is helping your child or making their anxiety worse.

One key insight from Dr. Eli Lebowitz is that our accommodations as parents can sometimes maintain anxiety rather than reduce it. Children are hardwired to detect threats, while parents are naturally motivated to protect their children. This dynamic can lead to a cycle of accommodation that reinforces anxiety.

The SPACE Program teaches parents how to become more supportive...

I want to address a poignant question raised by one of my Instagram followers, who expressed concerns about feeling a growing distance between her and her teenage daughter.

It's a challenge many parents face as their children navigate the tumultuous waters of adolescence.

To shed some light on this matter, I turned to Dr. Cam Caswell, an Adolescent Psychologist and Parent Coach, who provides valuable insights into why teens may withdraw from their parents.
Dr. Caswell identifies three key reasons why teens may stop sharing their lives with their parents:

1. Teens Feel a Lack of Active Listening: Teens want to be heard, not just talked at. When parents don't actively listen, it can create a barrier to communication.

2. Feeling Judged: The fear of judgment can be paralyzing for teens. If they sense criticism or disapproval, they may be hesitant to open up.

3. Parental Overreactions: Teens often navigate intense emotions and need a safe space to express themselves. If parents...

In our most recent Brave Girl Tribe call, part of my Life Coaching Virtual program designed for girls in 5th to 8th grade, the girls bravely opened up about their experiences with worry and anxiety. Their courage shed light on a common struggle that many of our tweens and teens face.

This time of year, we often see an increase in worry and anxiety as the demands of school increase, friendship changes and breakdowns happen, and the winter gloomies start.The Fear of Fear: Breaking the Worry Cycle

Some members of the Brave Girl Tribe opened up about fearing their own anxiety, particularly the worry of experiencing a panic attack. It's crucial to recognize that this fear can create a cycle that intensifies anxiety. In our discussions, we've emphasized that avoidance only strengthens worry.

The first step in encouraging our girls to manage their worry and anxiety is to externalize their worry by giving it a name. This helps our girls separate themselves from worry and not get down on...

Friendships, as beautiful and fulfilling as they can be, are not always smooth sailing. We've all encountered the stormy seas of misunderstandings, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of maintaining meaningful connections.

In 2016-2017, ROX Institute's Girls Index Survey found that a staggering 76% of girls reported that they believe most girls are in competition with each other. This statistic has left a lasting impression on me and evokes a sense of sadness.

This staggering statistic reminds us of a troubling truth. While friendships hold the potential to be incredible sources of support and joy, they can also become tangled webs of competition and misunderstandings, particularly among young girls. It highlights the urgent need to equip ourselves and our daughters with the tools to foster healthier, more collaborative connections.

How can we help our girls become champions of other girls?

Helping girls become champions of other girls involves fostering a culture of...

 I was incredibly fortunate to attend a Sting concert and let me tell you, it was absolutely amazing!

Listening to him perform "Message In A Bottle" brought back a flood of memories from my teenage years. Even after all this time, the lyrics still tug at my heartstrings.

The lyrics resonate with me, reminding me of all the girls heading back to school, feeling like they're castaways on lonely islands, but here's the truth: they're not alone in feeling alone. A whole sea of girls are out there, all searching for their place to belong.

Over the past few weeks, I've received numerous messages from parents reaching out for guidance on supporting their daughters during these challenging transitions in school and friendships.

 I created an Instagram Reel with tips on this very topic:

1. Create a Safe Home Space: Ensure your home is safe and welcoming, where your daughter feels comfortable sharing her experiences.

2. Manage Your Emotional Reaction: Managing your emotions when she...

As August begins, I can't help but feel the back-to-school blues, even though I'm no longer a student or a school counselor. Now, I'm a parent supporting a high schooler, and it's time to get myself and my son back into the school routine.

Does back-to-school stress you out too?

Thankfully, my son has been working all summer and getting up early, so we aren't too far from our regular school routine. Another relief is that he no longer experiences the anxiety he used to have during elementary school. However, I know that many families and kids struggle with the anxiety that comes with the uncertainty and stress of starting a new school year.  I want to share some tips on how to support your child through the worry and anxiety that often accompanies the beginning of the school year.

Now, let's explore how worry works in our brains.

Worry is a natural part of our survival mechanism, helping us stay safe and react quickly in dangerous situations. It's the alarm that helps us...

Hi Brave Friends,

In the fast-paced and demanding world we live in, it's easy for parents and children to neglect their own well-being while attending to the responsibilities of daily life. However, self-care is not just a luxury but a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy and balanced life for both parents and children. Taking care of one's mental and physical health is not only essential for personal well-being but also for fostering stronger family bonds and promoting a positive environment.

For parents, self-care practices range from simple strategies like getting enough rest, setting boundaries, and engaging in hobbies to more profound exercises like mindfulness and seeking support from loved ones. Embracing these practices can help parents maintain their sense of self amidst the responsibilities of parenthood and foster a healthier, more nurturing environment for their children.

Self-care Tips for Parents:

1. Prioritize sleep.
2. Set boundaries and take personal time.
3. Engage in...

Are you ready to make this summer an incredible time for your tween or teen daughter to develop valuable skills, boost her confidence, and embark on a journey of self-discovery?

Recently, one of my coaching clients, a fantastic fifth-grade girl, expressed her interest in getting a job over the summer. She even wanted to learn how to create a resume! Witnessing her enthusiasm and determination reminded me of my own childhood adventures.

This young girl's aspiration to have a summer job resonated with me and reminded me of a video I recently watched featuring former First Lady Michelle Obama. She beautifully expressed that life is all about practicing who you want to be, and your daughter can practice becoming the incredible person she aspires to be during this summer season. Even at a young age, getting a job can be a fantastic way for her to develop important skills and qualities.

Here are 10 important reasons why it is beneficial for tweens and teens to have a job:

1. Financial...

Hi, Brave friends!

In this blog post, I'll share five choices that can help you and your tween or teen daughter effectively work through problems.

Do you often find yourself or your child struggling to solve problems? 

It's important to approach problem-solving from a bigger perspective, enabling us to explore different choices and move forward rather than getting stuck in the details.

Choice #1 - Fix the Problem:

When facing a problem, the first choice is to focus on finding a solution. It might require thinking creatively and coming up with unique approaches. Often, we tend to feel overwhelmed and frustrated for longer than necessary. Encouraging your daughter to believe in herself and her problem-solving abilities is crucial. Allowing her to solve the problem on her own is equally important.

Choice #2 - Change Your Attitude:

Sometimes, the problem lies not in the situation but in how we perceive it. By changing our attitude and looking at the problem from a different...

Hi Brave Friends,

As part of the Inner Spring Cleaning, I will be sharing weekly meditations. 

This week we start with a Loving Kindness Meditation to help inspire compassion for yourself, family, friends, and even those people that bring up negative emotions in you.

There is a free Love and Kindness Journaling Page that is included in The Inner Spring Cleaning Mental Health Cleanse Journal that you can download. Do this quick activity after your meditation!  This will really help you deepen your experience.

Meditating has been the one thing that has truly made a difference in how I feel and how I react to everyday stressors in my life. 

I would love to hear your thoughts after doing this practice. Please leave a comment below.

I have a poster that you can print out and keep by your workspace so that you can do this practice anytime.

 Wishing you a wonderful day!

Love,
Laura