The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

Middle and high school can be some of the most challenging years in your daughter’s life.

Between the academic pressures, changing social dynamics, and the search for independence, these years often come with struggles to find meaningful friendships and a sense of belonging. As a parent, you may feel helpless watching your daughter navigate these challenges. But there is hope—connection and community can make all the difference.

Why Connection Matters
Having a strong sense of connection is more than just about having friends. It’s about feeling valued, understood, and supported by others. Research shows that young people who feel connected to a peer group experience lower levels of stress, increased confidence, and improved overall well-being. These connections teach vital social skills, like communication and conflict resolution, that will benefit your daughter for years to come.

The Power of Group Support

I firmly believe in the transformative power of community...

As our daughters embark on their middle school journey, they navigate a complex maze of social, emotional, and academic transformations. Understanding these pivotal changes is crucial in providing them with the support they need.

To further aid you and your daughter during this transition, I offer a course titled 'Survive & Thrive in Middle School.' This course is designed to empower both parents and daughters by addressing the key challenges that middle school brings. It includes modules on how to manage changing friendships, increase self-esteem, handle academic pressures, and navigate the often turbulent social waters of middle school life.

Additionally, the course provides parents with essential guidance on managing their own uncertainties and stresses about middle school, offering strategies to support their daughters effectively. With a mix of video lessons, downloadable PDFs, and interactive activities, the course provides practical strategies and tools to help your...

As the new school year begins, many of our daughters are facing back-to-school challenges, which can bring up feelings of exclusion, loneliness, and uncertainty. I've heard several girls share common experiences during this time:

• "My friends are talking about things that I am not a part of since I'm not in classes with them, and I feel really left out."
• "There are kids who made fun of me in elementary school that are now in my lunch block, and I feel like they are staring and talking about me."
• "I have no one to sit with at lunch—or at least no one I really want to sit with."
• "I asked a girl to partner with me, and every time she says no, and that she she wants to work alone. But when another group asks her, she'll join them. I really don't know what to do now."

These are tough situations, and as parents, it's natural to want to fix them. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply listen. Our daughters need to feel heard and validated. Acknowledge their...

As our kids return to school, the excitement of reuniting with friends often comes mixed with anxieties about past conflicts and evolving social dynamics. It's normal for daughters to worry about questions like:

• "Is my friend still mad about that huge mix-up we had last year? I hope it’s not weird between us now."
• "Did my friends hang out a lot without me this summer? What if they’re not that into me anymore?"
• "What if I don’t have any classes or even lunch with my friends? That would totally suck."
• "Are my friends still caught up in all that drama from last year? I really don’t want to deal with more of them hating on each other."

These concerns can transform into nighttime worries, making it difficult for girls to sleep and start the school year with confidence.

To help manage these fears, it's crucial we teach our daughters how to control negative thoughts. Understanding the 9 Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and how to counteract them with...

Empowering Your Daughter to Overcome Bullying

In The Brave Girl Tribe, many girls have courageously shared their experiences of being bullied by classmates and even friends. Hearing these stories has been incredibly helpful for others, showing them they are not alone and providing encouragement and support from their peers.

We understand the growing anxiety our girls may feel, especially during transitions such as moving into middle school or starting a new school. It's natural for them to worry about facing such challenges again.

Our goal is to equip you with strategies to help your daughter cope with past bullying experiences and empower her to rise above them and thrive.

Why is it so easy for our daughters to believe their bullies? Understanding this can help us better support our girls in building resilience against bullying.

8 Psychological Insights Into Why Girls Believe Their Bullies

1. Negativity Bias: Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information. This...

Today, I am thrilled to share something very close to my heart—the launch of our Survive and Thrive in Middle School Course  for both parents and daughters. But before I dive into the details, I'd like to take a moment to tell you a story about how this course came to life.

Last July, I set out to transform the guidance and strategies I’ve shared with middle school girls in my groups into something bigger—a comprehensive course. What started as a simple idea quickly turned into a passionate labor of love. But I'll be honest, this journey hasn't been without its challenges. It also became a personal battle with my own perfectionism and imposter syndrome. Every step of creating this course forced me to confront these challenges, pushing me to grow alongside the very lessons I aimed to teach.

Today, I am excited to introduce Survive and Thrive in Middle School Course designed to empower you and your daughter during a pivotal phase of her life. This course isn't...

Life can throw a lot at us. For parents, the mix includes juggling work, managing the home, and being there emotionally for our kids as they tackle their own challenges.

Our tween and teen girls are navigating the tricky waters of school life, dealing with the pressures of friendships and the constant comparisons that come with growing up.

Amidst all this, a common thread weaves through our experiences—the inner critic.

The Inner Critic is the voice that whispers doubts and insecurities, making you feel inadequate and fearful of failure.

It might tell you:

"No one likes you!"
"Why bother trying out for the team when you're not that skilled?"
"That test score was just a fluke."
"This outfit isn’t working. Why did you think it would?"
"You're just not smart enough!"
"You’re too annoying to be likable."
"You're dull; do you ever do anything exciting?"

Everyone has an inner critic, a negative voice, or what some call a self-saboteur. It acts like a frightened child,...

It can be so hard for our daughters to navigate through the ending of a friendship.

Recently, a client shared her struggles with the ending of a friendship. This young girl finds herself grappling with a whirlwind of emotions: grief, anger, frustration, and confusion, all while sharing a classroom with someone she once called her best friend (If your daughter is feeling intense emotions but has a hard time naming them, download my Feeling Wheel - (Download now.)

Each day brings challenges for my client, from interpreting sidelong glances to understanding the shifting dynamics of recess alliances. It's as if an invisible line has been drawn in the classroom, dividing former friends and compelling my client to feel she must rally others to her side in a silent battle for companionship.

Similarly, many teens experience the fallout of friendships within their broader social circles, leaving them to navigate the delicate balance of still being in a larger group with someone they are...

One thing you may not know about me is that I love to learn.

I am surprised by my love of learning as I was not an eager student in high school, but today, I am excited to participate in the SPACE Program training with the Yale Child Study Center led by Dr. Eli Lebowitz. SPACE stands for Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions.

As a parent I have supported my child when they have felt anxious and I am sure you have had to support your child through their worry or anxiety as well. It can be so challenging to know what to do and if what you are doing is helping your child or making their anxiety worse.

One key insight from Dr. Eli Lebowitz is that our accommodations as parents can sometimes maintain anxiety rather than reduce it. Children are hardwired to detect threats, while parents are naturally motivated to protect their children. This dynamic can lead to a cycle of accommodation that reinforces anxiety.

The SPACE Program teaches parents how to become more supportive...

Many parents ask me for advice on supporting their daughters through the emotional turmoil of friendship troubles.

One common question arises: "Should I contact the girl's parents who are being mean to my daughter?"

I understand how confusing and upsetting it is when our daughter's experience hurt, and as a parent, you are actively seeking ways to support her. It's natural to wonder if reaching out to the parents of the girl causing distress would be beneficial.

With three decades of experience working with children and parents, I've found that reaching out to the other parent often doesn't yield the desired results you, as a parent, are hoping for.
Talking to the parents of the child who is causing issues can be complex and delicate.

Plus, there are different factors to consider before contacting the other parent.

The foremost consideration is whether your daughter desires your assistance and believes contacting the other parents would be constructive.

It's crucial to avoid a...