The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

In our ongoing discussions about fostering healthy friendships for our daughters, let's delve into one of my favorite analogies that I use with girls.

Picture a scale that exists in relationships with your daughter on one side of the scale, and as she interacts with other people, the scale can go up or down or stay balanced based on the energies that are exchanged.

When these scales are in equilibrium, it reflects a mutual and respectful connection. Each girl contributes to the scale, creating a harmonious exchange that builds genuine friendships. However, there are times when the scales become imbalanced, often stemming from one party trying too hard to please.Imagine your daughter enthusiastically adding positive energy to the scale, wanting to contribute to the friendship. However, if the other side takes advantage or perceives this eagerness as a weakness, the scales tip drastically. The pleaser scale drops significantly compared to the more socially popular girl, leaving an...

Many parents ask me for advice on supporting their daughters through the emotional turmoil of friendship troubles.

One common question arises: "Should I contact the girl's parents who are being mean to my daughter?"

I understand how confusing and upsetting it is when our daughter's experience hurt, and as a parent, you are actively seeking ways to support her. It's natural to wonder if reaching out to the parents of the girl causing distress would be beneficial.

With three decades of experience working with children and parents, I've found that reaching out to the other parent often doesn't yield the desired results you, as a parent, are hoping for.
Talking to the parents of the child who is causing issues can be complex and delicate.

Plus, there are different factors to consider before contacting the other parent.

The foremost consideration is whether your daughter desires your assistance and believes contacting the other parents would be constructive.

It's crucial to avoid a...

I want to address a poignant question raised by one of my Instagram followers, who expressed concerns about feeling a growing distance between her and her teenage daughter.

It's a challenge many parents face as their children navigate the tumultuous waters of adolescence.

To shed some light on this matter, I turned to Dr. Cam Caswell, an Adolescent Psychologist and Parent Coach, who provides valuable insights into why teens may withdraw from their parents.
Dr. Caswell identifies three key reasons why teens may stop sharing their lives with their parents:

1. Teens Feel a Lack of Active Listening: Teens want to be heard, not just talked at. When parents don't actively listen, it can create a barrier to communication.

2. Feeling Judged: The fear of judgment can be paralyzing for teens. If they sense criticism or disapproval, they may be hesitant to open up.

3. Parental Overreactions: Teens often navigate intense emotions and need a safe space to express themselves. If parents...

In our most recent Brave Girl Tribe call, part of my Life Coaching Virtual program designed for girls in 5th to 8th grade, the girls bravely opened up about their experiences with worry and anxiety. Their courage shed light on a common struggle that many of our tweens and teens face.

This time of year, we often see an increase in worry and anxiety as the demands of school increase, friendship changes and breakdowns happen, and the winter gloomies start.The Fear of Fear: Breaking the Worry Cycle

Some members of the Brave Girl Tribe opened up about fearing their own anxiety, particularly the worry of experiencing a panic attack. It's crucial to recognize that this fear can create a cycle that intensifies anxiety. In our discussions, we've emphasized that avoidance only strengthens worry.

The first step in encouraging our girls to manage their worry and anxiety is to externalize their worry by giving it a name. This helps our girls separate themselves from worry and not get down on...

We all have those moments when our minds seem stuck in a never-ending loop, like a hamster running on a wheel.

Recently, I have found myself on a hamster wheel replaying a problem repeatedly, and I have noticed I am not alone, as many of my coaching clients are also stuck on their own hamster wheels.

That is why I wanted to share with you information about rumination.

Rumination is a term that describes a common pattern of thinking that many of us experience at times. When we are ruminating, we repeatedly focus on a problem, a loss, or a setback without moving forward into taking action.

For parents and teen girls, rumination often involves obsessing about issues, replaying them in your mind, and getting lost in those thoughts. This constant replaying can deepen feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even self-blame. It's like being stuck in a loop where you can't let go of these negative thoughts, which continue to affect your mood and well-being.

It's essential to recognize that,...

Embracing The Magic of Halloween and Growing Up

As we approach the enchanting season of Halloween, I want to take a moment to address a topic that often goes unnoticed but can weigh heavily on our teens and tweens - the bittersweet experience of growing up.

For many of our young girls, Halloween can serve as a poignant reminder of the passage of time and the inevitable shift toward adulthood.

In this blog, we'll explore how to support your teens and tweens as they navigate these complex emotions, acknowledging their sense of loss and offering words of comfort.

 
Halloween: A Time of Transition

Halloween, with its ghosts, goblins, and ghouls, symbolizes the transition from childhood to adulthood in its own way.

As the years pass, our children often find themselves caught between the excitement of celebrating this magical season and the sense of loss as they grow older.

Here's how you can help your teens and tweens during this emotional journey:

Acknowledging Their Feelings:
...

Were you ever part of the Girl Scouts?

I was and absolutely cherish the opportunities to engage with different troops. I have the privilege of working with remarkable Girl Scout troops and focusing on the importance of recognizing how relationships can have a powerful impact on us and the value of inclusivity.

Navigating relationships can indeed be quite a challenge. As parents and mentors, we often find ourselves seeking ways to support the incredible girls in our lives.

In Katie Hurley's insightful book, "Mean Girls No More," she offers invaluable tips for nurturing healthy friendships. I'm excited to share these insights with my Girl Scout friends and wanted to pass them along to you as well.

How To Handle Friendship Challenges

• Say that you need time to think. You don't have to solve every problem right away.
• Talk about how you're feeling.
• Use I- statements to avoid the blame game. For example, "I feel embarrassed when other people make jokes about me."
• Take responsibility for...

Hi Brave Friends,

In the fast-paced and demanding world we live in, it's easy for parents and children to neglect their own well-being while attending to the responsibilities of daily life. However, self-care is not just a luxury but a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy and balanced life for both parents and children. Taking care of one's mental and physical health is not only essential for personal well-being but also for fostering stronger family bonds and promoting a positive environment.

For parents, self-care practices range from simple strategies like getting enough rest, setting boundaries, and engaging in hobbies to more profound exercises like mindfulness and seeking support from loved ones. Embracing these practices can help parents maintain their sense of self amidst the responsibilities of parenthood and foster a healthier, more nurturing environment for their children.

Self-care Tips for Parents:

1. Prioritize sleep.
2. Set boundaries and take personal time.
3. Engage in...

 Hi Brave Parents,

As the school year comes to an end, some teenagers may find themselves feeling anxious or apprehensive about the summer break. Your Daughter might have grown accustomed to the routine, structure, and social connections that school provides, and the thought of a long break can be overwhelming. It's okay if your daughter is excited, sad, and anxious all at once. It just means she's processing the upcoming shifts and adjusting to the new chapter in her life. Change can be uncomfortable and uncertain, and it's natural for worry and anxiety to have your daughter seeking comfort and certainty.

If your teen is struggling with this transition, there are ways to help them embrace the summer and discover new opportunities for growth and enjoyment. One effective strategy is to encourage your teen to create a summer bucket list. This simple yet powerful tool can help them shift their focus from the end of the school year to the exciting possibilities that lie ahead....