The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

As the new school year begins, many of our daughters are facing back-to-school challenges, which can bring up feelings of exclusion, loneliness, and uncertainty. I've heard several girls share common experiences during this time:

• "My friends are talking about things that I am not a part of since I'm not in classes with them, and I feel really left out."
• "There are kids who made fun of me in elementary school that are now in my lunch block, and I feel like they are staring and talking about me."
• "I have no one to sit with at lunch—or at least no one I really want to sit with."
• "I asked a girl to partner with me, and every time she says no, and that she she wants to work alone. But when another group asks her, she'll join them. I really don't know what to do now."

These are tough situations, and as parents, it's natural to want to fix them. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply listen. Our daughters need to feel heard and validated. Acknowledge their...

As our kids return to school, the excitement of reuniting with friends often comes mixed with anxieties about past conflicts and evolving social dynamics. It's normal for daughters to worry about questions like:

• "Is my friend still mad about that huge mix-up we had last year? I hope it’s not weird between us now."
• "Did my friends hang out a lot without me this summer? What if they’re not that into me anymore?"
• "What if I don’t have any classes or even lunch with my friends? That would totally suck."
• "Are my friends still caught up in all that drama from last year? I really don’t want to deal with more of them hating on each other."

These concerns can transform into nighttime worries, making it difficult for girls to sleep and start the school year with confidence.

To help manage these fears, it's crucial we teach our daughters how to control negative thoughts. Understanding the 9 Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and how to counteract them with...

As the new school year approaches, it's a great time to reflect on the valuable lessons and skills that can help our girls thrive in middle and high school. Transitioning to middle school can be a challenging time, filled with new experiences and expectations.
 Here are the three key takeaways that rising middle school girls need to know before starting middle school:

1. Friendships Evolve: Not everyone will remain a close friend, and that's okay. It's natural for friendships to change as you grow.
2. Self-Advocacy: Learn to speak up for yourself. Whether it's in class or with friends, expressing your needs and boundaries is crucial.
3. Organization is Key: Keeping track of assignments, due dates, and extracurricular activities can prevent overwhelm. Use planners or digital apps to stay organized.

Help Your Daughter with Back-to-School Worries: Is your child’s anxiety about the new school year starting to feel overwhelming? We understand the challenges these moments can...

I loved watching the Olympics and often find myself on the edge of my seat as if these athletes are my own family members. The dedication and sacrifices these women and men make are nothing short of inspiring.
Who is inspiring you?

I have been inspired by Ilona Maher, a member of the US Women's Rugby Team that won the bronze medal. I love her positive messages, from fueling our bodies to appreciating what our bodies allow us to do, to inspiring others to "find a place where you feel comfortable, fit, and are able to express yourself."

In one tearful video, Ilona shared that it hurts when people call her masculine or suggest that she takes steroids. She went on to share:

"They think women should be fragile and petite and quiet and meek, but that’s not the case. Women can be strong, and they can have broad shoulders, and they can take up space, and they can be big. I think I’m getting emotional because I feel very passionate about this. There will always be negative people...

As I approached the start of 8th grade, my family moved to a new town several states away from where I had grown up. That summer, I was buzzing with dreams of becoming popular at my new middle school. Many girls envision returning to school and suddenly finding themselves part of the popular group. However, we often discover that reality doesn't live up to the lofty hopes and dreams we nurture over the summer.

This past weekend in The Brave Girl Tribe, the girls shared their own stories about friends who have left them behind for the more popular group. It’s a common experience, but that doesn’t make it any less challenging.

Understanding the different types of popularity and how perceptions change from the tween to teen years can help us better support our daughters. Let's explore these concepts and practical strategies to guide our girls in navigating their social worlds.

Types of Popularity

Research focuses on two different types of popularity: Status-Based Popularity...

Empowering Your Daughter to Overcome Bullying

In The Brave Girl Tribe, many girls have courageously shared their experiences of being bullied by classmates and even friends. Hearing these stories has been incredibly helpful for others, showing them they are not alone and providing encouragement and support from their peers.

We understand the growing anxiety our girls may feel, especially during transitions such as moving into middle school or starting a new school. It's natural for them to worry about facing such challenges again.

Our goal is to equip you with strategies to help your daughter cope with past bullying experiences and empower her to rise above them and thrive.

Why is it so easy for our daughters to believe their bullies? Understanding this can help us better support our girls in building resilience against bullying.

8 Psychological Insights Into Why Girls Believe Their Bullies

1. Negativity Bias: Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information. This...

Making friends in middle school can be effortless for some girls, while others may find it challenging to initiate and maintain friendships.

In my online community for girls in 5th to 8th grade, The Brave Girl Tribe, many members have expressed a desire for help in making new friends. We are dedicated to supporting them! During our meetings, we discuss strategies for making and maintaining friendships. The girls share their challenges and encourage each other with positive ideas and support

My new course, "Survive and Thrive in Middle School," includes a comprehensive section on navigating various social situations, which is often one of the biggest stressors for girls. Don't miss out on this opportunity to help your daughter thrive in her social life. Click here for a coupon

Here are some tips to help your daughter as she meets new people:

First impressions are incredibly powerful, especially when meeting new people. Encourage your daughter to be mindful of her body language, as it...

 In our ongoing discussions within The Brave Girl Tribe, our vibrant community for girls in 5th to 8th grade, a popular topic has emerged—building confidence in uncomfortable situations.

Our members shared stories about times they felt out of place or nervous, sparking a meaningful conversation and a desire to learn to be more confident when uncomfortable.

We all feel awkward or intimidated, especially in unfamiliar situations or around people we don’t know well. Our worry tries to protect us, making us crave comfort and predictability. When life becomes uncertain, this worry can make us uncomfortable and shake our confidence.

As parents and educators supporting girls, it's crucial to understand the challenges they face. Research on tween and teen girls has revealed several key insights about building confidence.

Here are the realities for our girls:

Studies show that girls' confidence levels drop significantly, with a 30% decrease between ages 8 and 14.
...

Summer should be a time of joy and freedom, yet it often brings unique social challenges, especially for our girls.

Many parents have reached out to me this summer seeking advice on supporting their daughters who are navigating social hurdles. These girls are anxious about encountering their ex-best friends at summer gatherings, feel discouraged from participating in activities due to 'Mean Girls' at camp or work, and struggle with feelings of isolation because they aren't in the popular group.

I understand how tough it can be to see your daughter come home in tears with you left wondering, "Why is this happening to my daughter? How can I ease her pain?"

While these situations are undoubtedly challenging, they also provide invaluable opportunities to develop resilience and confidence.

 Validating Experiences and Finding Solutions

As parents, it's crucial to acknowledge and validate your daughter's feelings when she faces social challenges. A simple acknowledgment can go a long...

I want to share a simple yet powerful guideline that can help our daughters become more thoughtful in their daily interactions. This insight, known as the '30-Second Rule,' comes from Ms. Natalie Ringold, a 4th-grade teacher who shares her wisdom on Instagram under the handle @always.upper.elementary. Through a compelling Instagram Reel, Ms. Ringold introduces us to this valuable concept, encouraging kindness and thoughtfulness in everyday moments.

The "30-Second Rule" is a simple yet effective guideline that can greatly improve social interactions: If someone can't change something about themselves in 30 seconds or less, then it's not something that should be pointed out.
For example, if someone has spinach in their teeth or a tag sticking out of their shirt—go ahead and tell them quietly. These are helpful comments because they can quickly rectify the issue. However, critiquing someone’s outfit, their body shape, color or texture of their hair, or any other aspect that...